It has been almost three months since my last post on this blog. I vanished after that, well one can actually think what kept this sloth so busy? My answer to this would be a usual reply that a CBS student gives: exams, work, finding work (placements) and some random stuff of my life. It has been a roller-coaster ride these past few months. Real testing times were there but I kept my nerve and dealt with it.
So here I am again, trying to figure out what I am going to jot down in this post today. After all it is something which I love doing that is to write. But every now and then I do get that blank feeling, the feeling which at times makes me think, makes me contemplate that whether I should be continuing with this blog or not, to which I never get a definite answer. Yes it is true I do love writing but when I see blogs of my peers who are into writing, I find myself as a small dot on a massive blank sheet. I am nothing as compared to those wordsmiths. Don’t get me wrong, am not being a pessimist or someone who likes to wallow in self pity. It is just the reality that I always realize whenever I happen to read an incredible blog. I find myself in a turmoil deciding whether I am deceiving my self by thinking that I can write well.
A prolific writer is one who has that flow in his writing and maintains it throughout. Who can write anything anywhere at a drop of a hat. That’s not the case with me, I can’t judge myself on the flow aspect of writing and I don’t know of someone who can be critical about it. And when it comes of deciding what I should be writing about, it takes a great deal of effort for me to ruminate about a subject. Not only deciding about the topic is a hefty task for me but also deciding what the mood of my writing is going to be like, which always daunts me to continue further with this hobby. Should it be light or should it be gloomy? These are some of the questions that keep revolving inside my head every time I think of writing a post for this blog.
But having said all of this, I would like to add that ‘writing’ is something that gives me that freedom of expressing my innate feelings. It gives me an exhilarating sense of individualism which I have craved for throughout my life. Yes nobody is perfect, and so am I. I get myself out of all those inhibitions that I have, those walls that knowingly or unknowingly I build in my mind clogging all my thoughts; by assuring myself that I will get better with each post. All I need to do is to be honest in what I write and keep penning those thoughts down.
My blog’s name is “Windowpane”, it has a significance in my mind. It actually reflects of what I try to do through my posts. It is me looking at this world from outside. It is my take, my opinion about life; which I, which you, which everybody lives everyday. Sometimes in form of short stories, articles, poems; I have my way of looking at this world. They can be melancholic in their theme or exultant but above that they are what I feel and what I am. And hopefully one day I will be somewhat close to perfection in this art of writing.
I am not trying to preach anything through these posts; I am just trying to view this world from my “Windowpane”.