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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Resolution Solution... ehh??




Year: 2009
From now on I am going to concentrate more on my studies and work hard.

Year: 2010
I am going to be more cautious and wont get injured or fall sick. Would take up kick boxing for sharper reflexes.

Year: 2011
NO MORE RESOLUTIONS!!!!

Except for the latter, I very brazenly to my comfort chose to overlook the former two. Reason was procrastination … “Kal karunga aaj man nahi”; “Kal se pakka”; these were some of the common excuses that I made in order to save myself from that inner guilt which happened to come but very rarely. Don’t get me wrong over here because for a fact I know that I am not the only one who does this. You, yes I am talking to You my friend. You have done it and I am sure you are going to repeat the same thing this year too.
All those intellectual people who figured out why ‘Why This Kolaveri D’, is a huge rage (seriously I have had enough of this irritating song, like a leach it is sucking my blood. Every community out there has its own version of the song; Gujrati, Punjabi, Bhojpuri, Marathi there are like zillions of versions. We even have a Chipmunk version and a toddler version sung by Sonu Nigam’s son.) can help me out in understanding the concept of making resolutions every year, when we know that we are complacent sloths who won’t do anything to rectify that one draw back that we suffer from, for which we actually made the resolution. Whom are we trying to fool? Its like I am playing cricket and suddenly I break the window of pados ke Ahuja ji (as my mom likes to refer to our neighbor) and then I try to persuade him to give my ball back by saying “Uncle ji god promise next time se nai hoga… main aajse pakka sirf chauke maarunga” knowing that I am not going to keep my promise. Seriously you can’t resist yourself from playing that terrific pull shot when the ball bounces high, I am sure my fellow cricket buffs are going to agree with me. Nonetheless, the point that I am trying to make over here is that, why make a resolution when you can’t follow it?
The most amusing thing about resolutions that I find is the chain of zillions of resolutions that it leads to. It’s like you are incarcerated by the whole vicious resolution cycle to satisfy your subconscious mind which keeps pestering you to straighten that one thing which has been gnawing you throughout your life.
This reminds me of an incident- Back in 2008 I use to weigh around 77-78 kgs, I resembled John Travolta of 2011, when I was 18. Trust me not a pleasant site it was, though the site is still not pleasant; anyway at the beginning of that year, continuing with my normal practice I made a resolution that I am going to lose weight and get some Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson sort of muscles on my frame. I was elated; I felt that the time was right for me to undergo the metamorphosis and break that chrysalis. I dreamt of playing David Hasseloff in those Baywatch scenes with Pamela Anderson running besides me, I am taking that red t-shirt off my brawny frame, and all the chicks around me gasping in ooohhss!! And aaahhsss!!
*The eye of the tiger* was my early morning 5:30 alarm; like a tsunami it hit the sets of Baywatch and took the enormous Anderson twins far away from me. It was me, my duvet and that cushy feeling which made me snooze my mobile alarm to another 15 minutes. “Only 15mins, after that I have to get up for running, today is my day” I thought to myself while slipping back to that overwhelming dream. It was 10:30am that day when I finally woke up. I felt like a grumpy 80 year old spinster, feeling disappointed. But I didn’t blame myself, instead I blamed the stupid weather, obviously who is going to get up at 5:30am in the chilly winter morning and go for a jog? I wont (I didn’t), so that very same day I made another resolution. “From now on I will get up at 7’o clock in the morning and go for a jog, FOR SURE” I promised myself and I actually did shout those last two words in my mind. Well rest, I guess you don’t need to guess. So here I was, heavy as Dirty Pictures’ Vidya Balan, with my side tyres oozing out like hers; making new and innovative resolutions everyday. Finally I gave up, not because I was tired of making promises to myself but because of that conceited feeling of being perfect I devoured myself in. By the end of that year I expanded and gained 4 extra kgs. (Fortunately in the pursuit of getting some opposite sex’s attention I somehow managed to lose 18 kgs in the following year. I had to write this, didn’t want you all to picturize me dancing on OOHH LA LA OOHH LA LA)

There is a concept called “employee motivation” in business studies. It has certain pointers through which an employee can be motivated in order to achieve effective and efficient results. One of the parts of that concept states that “In order to motivate employees, a manager should fix challenging yet achievable targets” (yes bitches I do pay attention in class). In my case or rather in our case, we make targets which are achievable but are OMG CHALLENGING (making me write a Blog is ‘Challenging’ but making me write a Good Blog is ‘OMG CHALLENGING’)

Why do we need a date or a day to decide on when we should start mending those lose nuts and bolts of our lives? “Jab jago tabhi savera”; the day you put your foot down and start working on those nuts and bolts, I am sure you’ll be able to untie those knots of your messed up life. Yes you don’t need a new year’s resolution because you are perfect but you need a daily resolution, a target to achieve; to motivate yourself to uphold that perfection.
True Story!!!

That reminds me I have to fix my ‘Windowpane’.

Ps: Happy New Year :)
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Year: 2012
I will improve and write some really good posts for my blog.

2 comments:

  1. Even though you've written about your life and experiences earlier, this post felt the nicest to read. It looks like you really enjoyed writing something after a long time :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sarthak, yes it did feel nice when I was writing this...it made me remember that time when I use to be over weight. Had a good laugh walking back into the memory lane.
    Thanks for appreciating it :)

    ReplyDelete

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