Monday, October 3, 2011

The Epic Battle

I could see it in front of me, the caped crusader, shiny black armor, weapons which were never seen before; they were attached to that messiah’s body. It was an unforgettable scene that still plays in front of my eyes like a repetitive shot in the saas-bahu sagas.  It was a rare Batman toy that was now a cynosure of my eye, never had i seen it before. I was yearning for it from the moment my eyes were locked on it.

Kya dekh raha hai be?


I felt like someone just pulled me out from my awesome dream. That voice was akin to the irksome sound made by screeching nails on the blackboard (trust me i have done that after watching Jim Carry do it in The Mask and it was very irritating). I saw a 4ft Chinese/Japanese/Assamese or what ever cheese guy standing in front of me; with a stern look on his face, clutching that marvelous toy; as if i was about to steal it from him. I could have done it, had there been no one around. I said nothing and leaned back on the chair on which i was sitting for past half-n-hour feeling annoyed and grumpy. I was sitting in a hospital that day waiting for my mom; she was getting an ultra sound done.

I was fuming in anger and was feeling embarrassed due to that irritating whiny pest. I felt like getting up and whooping his ass. Suddenly the whole atmosphere changed. The hospital corridors transformed into a barren land, I saw that Chinapamese (this is what you get when you have a Japanese mother mating with Chinese father who has as an Assamese granddad…yeah its complicated) kid changing into a cowboy.

“They say if you want to lay your hands on something precious, then you gotta earn it, boy”, said that arrogant kid spitting on the ground, waving that precious toy at me.

We looked at each other in disgust, our eyes locked, and our hands on our pistol. We were ready to settle this man to man. “Today is the day for this epic battle, either am gonna have it or rather die for it. There is no turning back now”, i thought to myself. *background music…teennnnyuhuhunhunnnn teeeen teeenn teeeeenn… teennnnyuhuhunhunnnn teeeen teeenn teeeeenn…*

We were waiting for the clock to struck 12. As soon as we’ll hear the final stroke, we’ll take out our guns and shoot at each other. The person, who proves to be the fastest amongst us, is going to survive this duel. I took out a Marlboro, and lit it. I puffed, while looking back at the clock. Few seconds were left. I took my stance and focused on the sound of the clock and so did he. I was full of anger but the time required me to maintain my focus. I could feel the sweat trickling behind my ears; the place was so isolated and discreet that i could literally hear my heart beats. *Dhak Dhak! Dhak Dhak! Dhak Dhak!*


No one moved an inch, there was silence. I saw him standing in front of me. With that ugly grin he said “There ain’t no bullet that can take me down”, and THUMP!!! He fell on the ground.

“But today you faced me” i said while blowing the nozzle of my gun.
I walked towards that dead guy picked up my coveted prize. “There is a new sheriff in town” i said that aloud with a smirk on my face. I adjusted my cowboy hat and climbed the horse and i rode like never before. “YEEEHAWWWWW!!!”

“Apko suntan nahin hain…aapki mummy aapko bula rahin hain andar. Patient ka test hogaya. Ab jao”

I was yet again pulled out of my dreams but this time by a South Indian nurse. Damn you!! Woman i was enjoying my heroic win, the victory of good over evil. I was annoyed to the core.

Again i could feel my surroundings transforming, this time it was a WWE ring. And my opponent was standing in front of me. A 500 pound aunty. GAME ON!!!

PS: Things written in the above post are not meant to be taken seriously by any community as it is written in a very light note. But still I apologise to people who might be planning to roast me up and have in supper. 
Seriously for your benefit am saying this....I might leave a bad taste in mouth (literally and figuratively). 


  1. This is the incident you told me about right.
    It's so much funnier to read here. *no offence*. :P
    And this makes me realize what batman means for you.

    Anyways, funny this is. I could use more of this humour. Loved it.

    1. Yeah I got your point, wasn't able to explain it to you properly that time. And yes 'Batman' is important.
      Thanks for the read :)


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